My Landmark Forum Insight (Part Three)

9. The world is the way it is and others are the way they are. No one owes you anything; no one is really in your way to achieve anything.

In life there are no problems. People do all kinds of things, sometimes hurting to us. But that is what happens. Change your perception/expectation and make action. Be the player, because for the player there is not “is” nature or “I” nature. There is just being.

No matter what circumstances are, deal with them in constructive manner. Like in hockey, you are in the game of falling down and getting up as quickly as possible, not sitting on ice and crying about being mistreated. The game is to be trying to get out of the issue. And the most important thing – you can choose your game. And if you still think there are problems, you can choose your problems too. You can create good problems to get rid of small ones. Replace small problems with big problems. Example, instead of being depressed about your extra weight, start a campaign to eradicate hunger around the world.

There are many possibilities and you can create anything you want in your life.

10. You are not stuck with who you end up being. You are not what happened to you. You are whole, complete and unbroken, and no one needs to fix you. You just need to choose yourself. When you choose, there are no likes or dislikes.

You are not deciding to be more, better, different, but you choose to be certain way. When you choose there is no doubt what you are and what you are not. You are not to prove anything or try to be anything, you just are what you create.

How do you do it? When reality doesn’t match your opportunity, you declare your new possibility with your word and enroll others into your new world of possibility. And then you register in it by making action.

Landmark

Usually world creates the word. It should be the other way around. Your word creates your world. Foundation of integrity should be our declaration: “I will honor my word, I’m my word!”

Action is correlated with the way you see the world. Being is consistent with your actions. Have authentic communication with those who support you. Focus on things that matter to you. Don’t postpone the moment when you might get happy or have future accomplishment. There is nothing out there in the future, because then and there is now. Actions give you results and they go to the past, which is nothing. The rules of creation are to understand our defense mechanism/human reaction and make a difference that makes a positive difference.

My own take on this is our own clearing work. We can re-write our own biography, no one would know the difference, in terms of how we felt. In history the winner creates his glorious story. My favorite book about it is “Chapaev and Emptiness” by Victor Pelevin. So in our case, since we are the winner and the loser of our own life we fabricate our own story. What will we choose to be? Will we choose the story that we want or we don’t? Are we the loser or the winner? We can create everything from nothing, and our suffering could become our blessing. We can create our own meaning to our own life. “People living deeply have no fear of death” ~Anais Nin.

Check out other articles about Landmark Forum: NY Times and Huffington Post.

My Landmark Forum Insight (Part One)

If Landmark course was free, I would recommend every person on the planet to take it. Landmark teachers to understand other people’s opinions, our own reactions, letting go and forgiveness. It teaches optimism and it empowers people. It works for many, but not for everyone.

I liked when Roger, our instructor, told us in the beginning, that even if we don’t accept Landmark’s world view, we can just try it out and see what it feels like. Definitely, an open-minded approach. There was no cursing, no making me do things against my will, but a lot of revelations and learning opportunities, and I’m glad I finished 3.5 day Forum with 120 other people in Quincy 3 weeks ago. Even though I don’t agree with some concepts and terminology used, the Forum definitely broadened my perspective of the world. And that is how:

1.The first thing we were introduced to was What happened vs. Our interpretation or what kind of story we create around the event. We behave as if we know everything. We know that there are things we know and don’t know, but there are also things we don’t know we don’t know, even though we behave as if we know everything or almost everything. So when something happens we immediately interpret the event the way we see it, and automatically attach meaning to it (our own meaning). Example, someone was laid off and thought it happened because his boss never liked him. Then the employee may think that life is not fair, when in fact the boss didn’t dislike the employee but had to eliminate that particular position.

I really like this approach, as it helps understand views of all parties involved in any situation. Any event can be interpreted differently by those involved or not involved. So … always be listening.

2. All the talking about what happened doesn’t help. Example, there is talking during the game in the stands. The whole talk is about the game – who did well , who didn’t, and who will win, but all their talk has zero impact on the outcome of the game. Only those who play have action, and only they can impact the outcome of the game. So when you complain about something unfair in your life, it will not help anything. What you need to do is to pull yourself together and act!

3. Integrity is when we are true to our word. A lot of people suffer because they know they are not what they say. They lie, they cheat, they pretend – they become inauthentic. Integrity breech happens, when we are not true to ourselves (our values, beliefs, inspirations) and not sincere with others about our intentions. To restore integrity is to restore person’s relationship to his word.

4. Rackets come to play, when we start blaming someone or something for things not working out for us in our life, for our own underperformance. Racket is a fixed way of being and a persistent complaint.

Rackets are used in case of loss of power, freedom, self-expression or peace of mind.

Payoff: Right/wrong, dominate/avoid domination, self justify/invalidate others, win/lose.

Cost: Love/affinity, self-expression, health/vitality/wellbeing, satisfaction/fulfillment.

Rackets are a way for us to not take responsibility for our own life.

How to overcome rackets? Don’t change, as change causes persistence. No change causes disappearance. Just choose to be the way you want to be, invent a possibility in your life to do it and do it step by step.

%d bloggers like this: