The Power of Virtual Self-Expression


Yesterday I stumbled on this letter in my inbox from … 11 years ago. I never met this dude, so I’ll never know what was really true or not, but he clearly expressed himself through Love@AOL:

“If you haven’t seen “Shallow Hal”, you must certainly have seen the preview…let’s be honest, it would be great if we could all just see the “Inner Beauty” in one another but the cold hard reality is that Men AND Women want that animal attraction. Body/face and looks are key. The cool thing about chicks is they tend to be a little more forgiving, which is great because I weigh 17000LBS and have a thumb growing out of my eyebrow! No, in all seriousness I am an average looking guy, in decent enough shape but I also know what women CLAIM to be looking for and what the REALLY want are often 2 different things, so let me clear up the facts first: I am average looking, not too bad as I said, 31 years old, I am 6′ tall, 205lbs, blue eyes, auburn hair, smell good, like to keep clean (Bonus, eh?), get along with Mom & Pop, shower daily, don’t sell crack to kids, have not been in prison, enjoy all movies, have cried at some but I’m not a tree hugging sappy whiner either.

I am not an overly aggressive person but I won’t back down from a fight, especially if it’s to protect my lady. I love most sports, but I am not a “junkie”. I am fairly funny but not intimidated by a woman who is also. I make great money and will spend it on the significant other but I WON’T pay your cell phone bill and buy your groceries just because you have a great ass(unless it’s REALLY great). I have been told I have a great smile, I think I can be quite a charmer, I like to make people laugh but I’m not an obnoxious pick on everyone type. I drink socially from time to time but I am not an alki and I don’t plan on becoming one. I like outdoor activities and beaches and all that summer fun stuff but I tan only mildly so if you’re like leatherface you better find a guido stud instead of me sweetie.

I think kissing is the best one to express emotion between two lovers and I could kiss for 9 hours with the right woman. I love reading, I CAN read which is always good and I love to cook as well. However, this last statement doesn’t make me gay and although I find nothing wrong with that and love to watch “Will & Grace”, I am 100% into women, although not many at the moment or I wouldn’t be typing this letter at 12:21am in my underwear with my dog staring at me with a “Please take me out you loser” look on his face. Finally, I am only sending this letter to about 4-5 people I think sound cool so don’t assume this went out to every woman with a pulse in NY, it didn’t. Should you be flattered I sent you one? Hell no, I’m not that great, but hey, I do have a BMW, a job and a clean close shave! Anyway, hope to hear from you, and have a good nite- Steve”

Will I be able to publish this in different times?

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