My Landmark Forum Insight (Part One)

If Landmark course was free, I would recommend every person on the planet to take it. Landmark teachers to understand other people’s opinions, our own reactions, letting go and forgiveness. It teaches optimism and it empowers people. It works for many, but not for everyone.

I liked when Roger, our instructor, told us in the beginning, that even if we don’t accept Landmark’s world view, we can just try it out and see what it feels like. Definitely, an open-minded approach. There was no cursing, no making me do things against my will, but a lot of revelations and learning opportunities, and I’m glad I finished 3.5 day Forum with 120 other people in Quincy 3 weeks ago. Even though I don’t agree with some concepts and terminology used, the Forum definitely broadened my perspective of the world. And that is how:

1.The first thing we were introduced to was What happened vs. Our interpretation or what kind of story we create around the event. We behave as if we know everything. We know that there are things we know and don’t know, but there are also things we don’t know we don’t know, even though we behave as if we know everything or almost everything. So when something happens we immediately interpret the event the way we see it, and automatically attach meaning to it (our own meaning). Example, someone was laid off and thought it happened because his boss never liked him. Then the employee may think that life is not fair, when in fact the boss didn’t dislike the employee but had to eliminate that particular position.

I really like this approach, as it helps understand views of all parties involved in any situation. Any event can be interpreted differently by those involved or not involved. So … always be listening.

2. All the talking about what happened doesn’t help. Example, there is talking during the game in the stands. The whole talk is about the game – who did well , who didn’t, and who will win, but all their talk has zero impact on the outcome of the game. Only those who play have action, and only they can impact the outcome of the game. So when you complain about something unfair in your life, it will not help anything. What you need to do is to pull yourself together and act!

3. Integrity is when we are true to our word. A lot of people suffer because they know they are not what they say. They lie, they cheat, they pretend – they become inauthentic. Integrity breech happens, when we are not true to ourselves (our values, beliefs, inspirations) and not sincere with others about our intentions. To restore integrity is to restore person’s relationship to his word.

4. Rackets come to play, when we start blaming someone or something for things not working out for us in our life, for our own underperformance. Racket is a fixed way of being and a persistent complaint.

Rackets are used in case of loss of power, freedom, self-expression or peace of mind.

Payoff: Right/wrong, dominate/avoid domination, self justify/invalidate others, win/lose.

Cost: Love/affinity, self-expression, health/vitality/wellbeing, satisfaction/fulfillment.

Rackets are a way for us to not take responsibility for our own life.

How to overcome rackets? Don’t change, as change causes persistence. No change causes disappearance. Just choose to be the way you want to be, invent a possibility in your life to do it and do it step by step.

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