My Mail Stop is 42

This is my 42nd post and I want to dedicate it to the girl I met 10 years ago.

In the summer of 2001 three of us were staying in the loft on the second floor of a moving company building in Oak Bluffs, Martha’s Vineyard. One of my roommates was Lena, funny, clever, sincere and charming. That summer she came to the States to work and travel for three months, and was planning to go back to Estonia and continue her studies. Lena was very artistic; she played guitar, sang and composed poetry.

Three of us had summer jobs all over the island: car rental, ice cream shop, hotel front desk, retail store. We were truly happy. Coming to our loft after work, we would always share our experiences. I remember not sleeping several nights at all just because we were talking, laughing, sharing secrets all night. We had long conversations about the meaning of life. Is it about achieving some heights or just having fun? We did crazy spontaneous things, like swimming at night and discovering bio-luminescent beach. We went sailing in Edgartown harbor on the historical museum boat. The more I knew her, the more I thought she was an angel, not perfect, but pure, with good heart and kind soul. Lena worked in the ice cream shop, and I remember buying cones of maple walnut ice-cream from her, which was my favorite. She would go back home late at night on her bicycle. At the end of the summer a friend of mine invited me to visit California, and so I left the island early. Right after I got to San Francisco, I went to Sausalito. It was there that I stopped at the internet café and got the news: Lena got killed by a drunken truck driver while going home late at night after work. It was probably a couple of weeks before her return home to Estonia.

I remember standing in Sausalito, looking at the ocean, at the sky and crying, asking “Why”? Why people with good hearts, full of life, potential and love leave so early? Did she fulfill her mission in her short life time of 2o something years? I was crying so hard that I looked at the sky and asked her (I was sure she could see me from there) to be my guardian angel, to help me live through life and experience what she would want to experience and do things she didn’t have time to do.

It’s been 10 years since then. Did I do what she wanted me to do? Perhaps. I traveled the world. I completed MBA and worked for a big corporation. I had fun. I loved. I was depressed. I read a lot of books.

I’m happy, not crazy happy, but content happy.

Happy that I live in our time, that I’m free and I can do all the things I want to do to. That my parents are still alive and I love them, that I have great friends, who bring joy into my life. That I like my work. That I meet similar-minded people and get more ideas about how to make people happy. That on Wednesday I will organize another group testing of the happiness formula.

That it is still summer and even more beautiful season fall is coming upon us in Boston. That on May 21 nothing catastrophic happened and hopefully will not happen on Dec 21 in 2012. And I still plan to work on this website, the blog and attend the Winter Olympic Games in my home town in 2014.

Thank you, Lena, for guiding me through life to experience everything I’ve experienced and have time and opportunity to work on the things I love.

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